Having it all...

I found out this morning that an investment I made isn't going to be the path to fulfilling my dream of a move.  It could still pan out but for now anyway, it's not come through.  First I felt the sting of disappointment, but just as the tears of discouragement started to flow, I thought..."NO."   Not, "No, I will not cry." but "No, I will not stop fighting for my right to have it all."  

I've worked with the elderly for over a decade, particularly elderly women, and I've seen how life happens while we are busy raising children, playing by the rules, and saying yes to our mothers [and men who are life-lesson mirrors of our mothers], and I won't do it.  I will not let life pass me by or deny me my dreams because IT, life, says "Not today," or "Not this way."  

I'll be damned if I'm going to shrink back from this.  Somehow, someway, I will move beyond it and I'll tell you what, I will not do it by sacrificing.  I will not give up one thing to have another.  I could get back in the high pressure, high demand, stressful workforce out in the world, and work my [slowly increasing] size 8 back end off for the next 10 years to meet my goal.  But at what cost?  I would have to give up my writing.  I would have to sacrifice time shared with my significant other [who does not mirror my mother for me, thank you.].  I would have to let go of time for myself and my connection to my own inner world and divinity.  No.  I've played it that way, and while my bank account soared, my connection to everything BUT money suffered.

I do not believe life is meant to be an either-or proposition.  I truly believe we are meant to have it all... That is, wealth, prosperity, fulfilling our purpose [doing what we love], love, health, and time to breathe.  I'm sorry world, I won't back down on this.   I have the most amazing loving wonderful relationship [love-check], have not been ill with so much as a cold in exactly 5 yrs and 6 mos [health-check],  I am doing what I love [fulfilling purpose-check], and I have time for myself and my relationship with something greater [time to breathe-check].   What I WILL have is wealth and prosperity.  And this time without giving up the other four.  

I will not let life tell me no.   I will not back down on this.  I will have the money I want and live in the home I want in the location I want.  I WILL HAVE IT ALL.  End of discussion.
[Gee, who knew a little blog could be soooo cathartic?!]

$15.39 
[I'm buying this one]

Too much time on my hands

What does a woman who works from home and has too much free time do with herself?

1.  Start a blog.
2.  Look for food.
3.  Look for food again because something new might have trekky-like materialized since last check.
4.  Make the bed [you just don't know what an oddity this is].
5.  Stare out the window.
6.  Return phone calls
7.  Answer the phone before the machine has screened it.
8.  Realize that actually answering the phone means that those same people will call again tomorrow in another attempt to sell the same cow.
9.  Watch HGTV House Hunters International.
10. Google Croatia.
11. Leave text sex messages at Happy House of Chinese.
12. Realize that B/F's new number is exactly one digit different than Happy House of Chinese.
13. Receive free dinner coupons from Mr. Chang.
14. Drink twice as much coffee.
15. Consider starting a non-profit.
16. Leave comments on other people's blogs.
17. Try to see my own aura [with absolutely no luck].
18. Plan a Travelocity vacation to the Isle of Man just to see how much it will cost [a freaking LOT].
19. Sign up for a free trial to Ancestry.com.
20. Make lists.

$3.98 from B&N